You can be whoever the fuck you want to be online, but when are you ever really yourself?

I asked myself this question today in the bathroom of my gym,

As i contemplated my history of online personas.

How many times did i lie online to get what i wanted?

How many times did i put on an act

To impress others ,

To convince people of something im not.

I think this above all is my underlying reason why i refuse to go back to social media.

This stuff runs rampant on there.

As someone who craves authenticity

Just how authentic have i myself been

when engaging with other people on the internet?

How authentic have they been with me?

How authentic have i been with myself?

I wonder how many times i have met people in real life

After talking to them online for a bit

And how warped their expectations of me must have been when i was presented right in front of them.

Like were they shocked that the person standing next to them didnt meet their expectations and preconceived notions?

Where’d all that confidence go?

Its so easy to pretend to be someone you’re not when you are hidden behind a shield.

To be completely honest with you, I fear the direction our world is headed towards with all this artificial intelligence stuff.

It’s like in the future whats going to separate the intelligent ones from the not so smart is how quickly they are able to detect if something online is artificial or not.

I dont know.

On the flip side, maybe there was a hidden part of me in those online interactions all along, but it just took the safety of being behind a screen to bring it out.

Who knows.

All i know is

In my heart of hearts i will always appreciate authenticity, honesty, truth, uniqueness.

Just who exactly are you when the mask comes off?