How many times have you been here before..?
The feeling of having lost
followed by the feeling of despair.
That you are unlikable,
unworthy of love.
But then time rolls around
and you meet somebody new,
and they bring back that sparkle in your eye,
and give you hope
for love again.
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How many times have you been here before?
Where you wonder why things ended the way they did.
Where you think that if only you could have done this,
said this instead of that,
if only you had made this one particular decision,
in that one particular moment,
then
maybe you wouldn’t be so alone.
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How many times have you felt this despair
?
My biggest fear:
The fear of ending up alone,
Of being alone,
Surrounded by no one.
The irony being that we all showed up here alone,
and we all exit alone.
For the soil can only fall upon
the head you claim your own.
-
I’ve been hurt.
rejected painfully after bearing my soul on display
and by displaying my bare heart on my wrists.
As a result
I take rejections from the people that i have a high regard for
very personally and very seriously.
-
How many times have you met somebody new
and the ugly despair goes away
and is replaced by blind hope,
hope for a better life,
a chance to change yourself ,
to become better,
to strive for a promising
and beautiful future.
But then time rolls around and
some bullshit happens
because some bullshit ALWAYS happens
and the despairs creeps in,
and the greyness shows
until someone new is introduced
And the cycle repeats.
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See i believe that love is energy.
It is transmutable, it never dies.
you meet someone,
you have experiences,
you go through life,
you bond,
shit happens,
you separate,
you grieve,
you move on,
you meet someone new.
And the cycle repeats.
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The refreshing thing about it is
that
not only can you rest assured
(if you’re willing to open your heart back up again that is)
that you will eventually feel it again,
but also
you just know that it is waiting to be found.
And it’s waiting to find you.
-
The hope/fear is that
this feeling can be recreated with just about anyone.
And i mean anyone.
Given the attraction is mutual,
and the chemistry is right,
and the moments shared together are good.
I believe this is why people cheat.
Because love energy is too powerful, so much so that we don’t know how to reign it in unless we have deep love and satisfaction with self first.
And thus we get entangled with people who match our love energy and thus give and receive it back.
Because of this, we must keep respecting love above all else for ultimately it is the creative energy of the universe.
And everything that can be created, can also be destroyed.
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So don't beat yourself down.
Every time you find yourself here again,
just know that it will come and it will go.
Wherever the current may bring you.
No sooner does the river speak.
