Unhealthy obsession at that.
It was purely selfish.
I never loved you after all this time i realized.
After all this time i realized i never loved you.
I realized after all this time i never loved you.
How could i?
I knew nothing about you.
I didnt even know you for that long
Yet i wanted you so bad
To the point of my destruction.
I lusted for your validation
To be accepted by you
To fulfill this fantasy in my head.
But thats not real love.
It never was.
You see
What i learned
About real love
From my dog
Was that its not selfish.
You can feel what they feel.
Their pain is your pain.
I cant tell you know many times i’ve felt sick to my stomach when my dog got sick in his.
Or how many cuts of mine he’s licked.
Or how many times I’ve lowered my speakers because the audio was too loud for him.
But I never once felt your pain. Only mine.
And though it may have seemed immediate at the beginning it wasn't always this deep.
My love for him grew and blossomed with time.
It truly makes life worth living.
It’s what we fight for.
And it heals.
For far too long I've been running away from it
Scared of the pain I might feel.
Scared of the obsessive lust that can arise.
But I can’t keep lying to myself…
In the end I chose love.
